Thursday, October 13, 2005
Fucking Hell! Nai Bei ah...Haiz...sob sob... kaya life is very jia lat.... Recently been busy rushing projects so everyday mostly stay in school till very late then go hme... Sigh! Everyday woke up so early in the morning then stay till 7+ then go hme, reach home already 8.30pm then had dinner then have to rush for projects again... Its like no life de. Always busying do work till siao. Stress up and keep eating snacks.
Some still cried... see chamz bu chamz?! Everyday really very sianz leh.... go hme so late somemore alone then haven eat dinner.... sob... then no ppl care oso... bf oso dun really care much....dun even bother to come fetch me after my sch...bring me home, bought me dinner....no loh! All is me alone these days... Feeling so shack and sianz... he oso din know everynite tok on phone is just for the sake only... haiz.... I complain oso no use... nothing is carry out... If I said liao then he will just follow what I said... For what?! Like that already no meaning liao mah...its like I ask you to come see me fetch me then u come, if I din, then you won't... haiz.... Really sianz.... Sometimes so busy and tired really nid someone's love and concern like sayang sayang... but
all these only happen thru phone! Chey! Not even bother to come find me.... Always I go find him de when mit... Sianz... He never ever come find me anymore...Use to but now no more...infact not anymore loh.... Sob! I v.sad...but oso bo bian..what to do... nvm loh Alone, alone loh.... if late go home dangerous, oso nvm de...cuz nobody cares only my mum cares! Sob........................ I got so many damn projs to do manz.... and I got complain but he also complain to me abt his...excuse me loh... mine is all Heavy pack projs not like those theories stuff loh.... so wateva still cannot compared it is the SAME workload. I'm more BUSIER and TIRED................. Cuz lao niang have MORE stuff to do.... have to do animation, web design, Drawings trailer, AVP stuff, my own Ji Pa Ban 3D man, STUPID BAKA Research Methodologist and Project Management. DAMN! All have to do b4 7 and 9 of NOV! DAMN! DAMNNNNDAMNNNDAMNNNNNNNNNNN!!! Sigh! Why everytime like that?! Why? I had this problem long time ago. My bf... he is not my bf. He is just a friend to me. I love this bf but dunno this bf love me anot. Dunno how much he actually cherish me. I very sad is because the things he do always upset me. Although sometimes I did not say, I din showed on my face, doesn't mean I'm ok loh. He ah, always go to friend's house and overnight, always go visit to his friend's house BUT NOT me. Since last year CNY onwards, he DID not even come to my place. He did not even bother to come to my hse and acc. me do homewrk, never ever come visit me... NEVER!!! I'm always unhappy and jealous whnever he told me he went to his fren's hse overnight cuz this never ever happen to me again! NEVER!!! Dunno why loh, his friend's ask him to, he do loh... me leh? I asked him, he said NO! Then everytime wanted me take initially to go to his hse or go find him/meet him. And I have to beg/asked him to come and mit me loh. Si Bei Sian!!! Then I saw sth nice and cheap, oso like that.....Haiz $1.90 niahz leh... oso dunwan for me! Sob :( I really very pathetic to have a bf like this! I wish I'm just his friend, since his first and Highest prority is his friends and not me! I'm just a toy or rubbish to him... Happy come fine, unhappy just heck the hell care ah...making me so sad... :( I always cried when he make me upset and it always happen! Its really very unfair to me u noe!!!??? I'm being treated like a nobody to him! Sob! I might as well go and die... Right?! Damn!!!
Am different; Neglection
